my journey

ever since i was very young i was called a storyteller by my friends and family. i would come up with magical alternate universes often inspired by my favorite books. the harry potter series written by j.k rowling and the chronicles of narnia written by c.s lewis remain some of my all time favorites.

i figured out pretty early in elementary school that i love creative writing. as i got older and the covid-19 pandemic started, i started to experiment with poetry. here’s some of my favorite pieces from the last few years.

short stories and other things

inside these walls
by eliza mcintosh

inside my body, outside my mind

by eliza mcintosh

poetry

april 17, 2023

i want to look so deeply

into your eyes

that i see your tears form

before you start to cry,

i want to hold you so close

that i leave marks

on your chest,

rip myself to peices

as i hold on to

your flesh.

april 10, 2023

street lights and cigeretts,

my sheets

and you flesh.

shouts turn to whispers

when i’m alone with you.

open windows and closed doors,

my soul

on your floor.

headaches turn to blisters

when i’m alone with you.

march 7, 2023

i’m falling away from everyone and everything,

my head is pounding

my bones are breaking

and i’m faking that everything is going in the right direction.

my life is being flung through time and space,

i’m collapsing.

february 14, 2023

you got me more than you ever deserved

but without you there i’m left unheard.

don’t hate me because you hate yourself

it’s not your place if you don’t think that i’ve felt

or that i let my heart melt.

my way with words

trying to be heard in a world that doesn’t want me.

my time spent trying to figure out how to repent,

but you say i have the potential to be somebody.

to love somebody.

i think that’s for fate to decide.

but i’m bent over backward for you

this will forever haunt me.

february 1, 2023

i live at the will of someone else

always in a room that i have overgrown.

i am the child of a life lived

a life without borders, boundaries, or sins.

i love at the risk of losing myself

i love at the risk of getting no help.

january 21, 2023

writing god into existence

i write for a god i don’t believe exists.

as far as i’m concerned

no one exists in this world but me,

i wish i could oversee his so-called fantasy,

yes i alone in my existence

but not in the resistance,

we fight together

for a world we wish to call our own

always overlooked by a man in a throne.

january 18, 2023

my life is held

in the space between the years,

i’m looking and searching everyday

for those lasting childhood fears.

i hold my memories in the past

yes i want to go back,

no don’t go back

to the place that wouldn’t last.

january 15, 2023

save the books

tattered and torn,

folded corners

inevitably worn.

show the love

through words and phrases,

days will pass

so will your different phases.

here is a reminder of poems from the past

written here

so they will last.

write down all your different experiences

write yourself into oblivion.

january 7, 2023

i’m holding myself

in the middle of it all,

i’m still falling

my lifeline’s still not calling.

they said i’d get better

but every time it’s not meant to be.

december 20, 2022

i’ve got some memories

i don’t want them framed,

under my skin and under your grin

no one is to blame.

december 2, 2022

i don’t like the way you look at me,

i don’t like the way i look at me either.

november 23, 2022

i’m proud to say i’ve crossed all the lines,

something i can not explain

something in the way everything’s shifting.

i’m proud to say i don’t miss it anymore,

a different frame of mind

keeping some things out of the picture.

november 12, 2022

i feel like i’m going to fall off the face of the earth,

i feel like i’m already falling.

october 31, 2022

now i’m lost,

you’ve left me behind

in a lonely alley full of emotional crime.

i’m losing my mind

can’t see the signs,

screaming at graffiti from a long-forgotten time.

october 17, 2022

trust me i want to be a certain way, but my body’s become a hurricane.

october 6, 2022

a word for the hopelessly lost souls

for the dazed and confused

trying to fill a hole.

she’s hiding in the best of us,

a fleeting feeling called stella.

september 14, 2022

life’s a vicious cycle

come along with me,

round and round

why can’t you see

i’m at my breaking point

breath along with me,

in and out

don’t you see.

september 9, 2022

i’m uncommitted, undecided

to anyone and everything,

i jump in too fast, look back too quick

at everyone and anything.

i can’t make up my mind,

what i want or who i am.

august 20, 2022

i’ve got a soul that could eat yours whole,

i’ve got a raging fire in my heart if i’d only let it show.

august 8, 2022

i can’t count all the times

i feel like i’m screaming,

can you even hear me at all

do you even not want me to fall?

may 10, 2022

i don’t really know how to fit,

i’m so much a part of everything else.

i don’t know how to let people get to know the real me,

i already know them better than anyone else.

april 28, 2022

you don’t know me

you don’t deserve to.

you don’t get to decide who i am

and you don’t deserve the real me.

march 15, 2022

everything in its place

perfectly chaosed and cluttered.

growing and changing

the way they’re supposed to.

february 19, 2022

sometimes writing makes me remember how sad i was.

but,

i’m trying to remember how happy

i’m going to be.

december 5, 2021

life is hard for those of us who feel deeply.

december 3, 2021

i sit in my waiting room

waiting for someone to speak and end my observation.

as i sit and watch them,

i watch myself.

from their eyes and from mine.

i see myself reflected in them,

are they waiting too?

november 29, 2021

don’t go, don’t stay

don’t speak, don’t stay silent.

be invisible in your existence

but still experience it.

november 2, 2021

the morning gloom has a certain sound

it trickles down and softens into afternoon rain.

it sprinkles down,

look to the ground and its darkened

much like the sky,

now sprinkled with stardust.

all stories and poetry ©2023 eliza mcintosh